Sunday, October 26, 2008

Durability


Life has been a struggle lately, this past week took a lot out of me. I have not been very happy with the way that I have dealt with things. Some of my niceness and my empathy has gone out the window. I am tired of being strong and taking care of things. Mostly, I am just tired. However, in the midst of my depressive mood and my disjointed emotions, J has been my constant. His presence in my life and my mind has kept me focused and sane. As my own strength and resolve have dwindled, He has held me firmly and resolutely in His arms.

He has an abiding and permanent place in my mind and my life. He occupies a substantial part of my mind and my thoughts. His enduring presence within me was impervious to the onslaught of doubts and fears that were trying to push their way in. His protection and caring for me extend beyond the physical realm into the psychological. His influence is complete and pervasive.

I belong to Him. That is a truth that is fixed and immutable. It is true because I have given myself to Him and He has defined me. His control is not repressive, it is reassuring and restorative. My submission does not diminish me, it evolves me and actualizes me. He has earned and cultivated the trust that I feel for Him. His investment in me has deepened and intensified my desire for His dominance. The connection and understanding that has developed between us has produced a balance and equality in our relationship. The greater my surrender, the higher He elevates me.

6 comments:

Greenwoman said...

Love the tunes. *smiles* I'm sorry its been a hard week. Hang in there.

OliviaManners said...

Hello Alice

I love how you write about your submission and your relationship with J. I am glad you have felt him all around you this week.

My thoughts are with you and I hope this coming week is a better one for you.

Olivia
x

anni said...

i love that song so much. it's such a perfect description. thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas.

Alice said...

Shannee,
Thank you. I have had a wonderful weekend, so I think I am ready to go at it again. :)

Olivia,
I have been very glad for him this week also. He makes things bearable (and bare-able too) *grins*

Anni,
Thanks for commenting. I always relate to what you write on your blog.

Paul said...

Alice, we want our subs to express all that they are.
I often wondered at the marvellous verity of my Mel.
The first song expresses that very well and I haven't heard Billie for a long time
I'm happy that J supported
you so well and I hope that things start improving for you.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Alice said...

Paul,

Things are already improving, last week was just a bad week. I do know that I would have been much worse without him. He keeps me focused, he steadies me. I certainly cannot keep anything from him.

Thank you for your support and steadiness as well.

Alice