Sunday, June 29, 2008

Head Over Feet

~Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.

~She crept close against him, clinging fast to his thin, strong, naked body, the only home she had ever known.

D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

Sometimes I struggle to organize my thoughts and find the words to express them. In this case, I turn to the words above, written almost a century ago, because they express it better than I can.

He is an amazing man. He is a combination of traits and qualities that I did not think existed. His presence, his personality overwhelm me. When I look into His eyes, I know I am an open book to Him. He knows me, He knows what I need. He is a virtuoso when it comes to giving me pleasure. He touches me in ways I have needed and waited for my entire life. His hands expertly explore me, extracting responses from me, that even my own hands cannot elicit. He reduces my body to a mass of post-orgasmic flesh, while freeing my mind to soar and expand.

He can engage me in discussion and banter that quickens my mind and vitalizes my being. This is foreplay for me, in every sense of the word. With one look or word, He brings me back to my center. I become totally focused on my submission to Him. He looks at me so intensely, I have to look away. I know He can see into all of the recesses of my mind. He engages my mind and my body, making me fully present for Him. I strive to give Him my full potential, offering all that I am. He provides me with a venue that is totally freeing. I can relinquish my control to Him and allow Him to take me farther than I have ever been.

He fills me with sensations, both physical and emotional. They bubble and boil inside of me, until they erupt, spewing forth my worship of all that He is. It is the culmination of the ceremony of us, a ritual of give and take. It builds until I surrender and He takes possession, He sacrifices me on the altar of my needs and desires. My homage to Him expressed in the liturgy of murmurs and moans that escalate to screams. The articulation of the ecstasy that only He can offer me.

He is home to me. He is a place of refuge and safety. A place to abandon the vestiges of my facade. He affords me the security to lay myself open to Him and invite His inspection. In spite of myself, He has coaxed me from my hiding place and into self-awareness. I love Him for who He has allowed me to become.

"Head Over Feet"

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask me how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Submissive Journal Prompts - week of June 23

~Are you in a long distance relationship? How do you keep the feeling of submission alive over the miles?

We do have a long distance relationship. I have never felt it was a problem to keep my feeling of submission alive. We talk and exchange messages almost daily, sometimes several times a day. I use the blog as a communication of sorts, I know He checks and reads it everyday. He does occasionally give me assignments. Mostly though, He dominates my thoughts. I think of Him constantly. I consider Him as I write, I gauge what I think His response will be. I do not censor what I write, but I am aware of Him during the writing process. Beyond that, I incorporate Him into my daily life in my mind. I make mental notes of things I want to tell Him and share with Him. I think of things I want to discuss and get His opinion on. I fantasize about Him, replaying past scenes and imagining future scenes and desires that we have discussed.

At the start of our relationship, there were times when I would struggle, not with my submission, but my insecurities. I worried about submitting enough, I wondered about being pleasing to Him. I wondered how I compared to others He had played with and wondered how long things would last for us. I did at times express my concerns, but I did not want to appear needy or clingy. Time and circumstances have banished my concerns. He has always been affirming and attentive, even from a distance. I know I am cared for and appreciated. I know I can be open and honest with Him and He will give me an honest response.

I have given myself to Him, I do not want or need anyone else. I acknowledge that our circumstances limit our relationship. I am fine with those limitations, I can accept the restrictions, because I know I occupy a part of His life and thoughts. I have no problem accepting my place, my role in things. I do not feel that our relationship is unbalanced or one-sided. We both value our relationship, we are extremely important to each other. Yet we both have separate lives and responsibilities. He is supportive and concerned, but I would never expect or want Him to be responsible for my life outside of our relationship. I hope I am as supportive and concerned with Him. As the depth of our commitment and feelings for each other has deepened, we share more with each other of our separate lives, but they remain separate. This works very well for us.

~How do you feel about public displays of affection? discipline? play?

My feelings on this have changed quite a bit. I have never been a fan of public displays of any kind. I now want everyone to know I am His. We are not overly demonstrative, but I love when He touches me or kisses me in public.

I have not received discipline (i.e. punishment), in public, or otherwise. I have certainly not been perfect, if He chose to discipline me I am sure He could find something that warranted it. He has not desired this or found a need. I do not engage in brat behavior, I do try to be pleasing to Him. We are very connected on a deep psychological level, administering discipline could not make me more submissive or obedient.

We do not engage in public play via events or groups. We have discussed public exposure and public sex. We have dabbled in that a bit. I have a remote control, butterfly vibe that I have worn on a lunch date with Him. My first public (though discreet) orgasm was in Applebee's during their lunch rush. He now can talk me into an orgasm. He directs me with His voice, telling me what to feel, what to imagine is being done to me. My second public orgasm was achieved that way in a neighborhood bar (and though I thought I was just as discreet, it was spotted by another patron). He had me touch myself on that occasion too. I have also bent down and sucked His cock in the hallway outside our room at the Radisson. He knows this is difficult for me, as I am not an exhibitionist, but then again, I didn't used to be a masochist either. LOL (I highly doubt that I am a masochist now, but I do crave pain from Him.)

~What has been your greatest personal victory in your life?

Wow, this one is really hard to decide on. I feel I am blessed and proud to have had many victories in my life. I am a single mom and raised two boys alone. I have gone from being on public assistance (after my divorce) to owning my own home. I am a cancer survivor (though that is not through any efforts on my own, my doctor is great). I think if I had to choose one thing, it would be returning to school to finish my degree. I dropped out of college at age 20 to get married (yes, I know how stupid that was) and returned at age 47. I am still working on it, it will take me 4 years to complete what should have been two. I have plans to continue, in order to obtain my Masters, when I am done. I have no regrets about dropping out years ago, I am who I am, due to the life I have led. I have continued to work full time, while taking half to full-time credit hours. I have learned much more than I ever would have when I was younger. I have done exceptionally well, almost a 4.0 (two B's). I had mostly electives to complete and have taken a variety of courses and indulged my lust for learning. And when I finally walk, to get that piece of paper, HUGE party at my house, every one's invited.

~What has been your greatest disappointment in your life?

I cannot claim to have never been disappointed, but I do not like to hang on to regret. Things happen, most of the bad things have made me stronger. So, nothing here of a personal nature.

I do have a related rant of a political nature. If you hate politics or are a right-wing Republican, stop reading now.

I am extremely disappointed in our government. I am sad and outraged to know how our rights and freedoms have been eroded. The Constitution has been ravaged, the document that was the structure and foundation of our country has been desecrated. People are being locked up with no due process or access to an attorney. We were led into an unjust war through lies and fears. Dollars that should have been spent on feeding and educating our country's children have been stolen to buy guns and bombs. Military contracts were awarded to friends and cronies, leaving our young fighting men ill-equipped, poorly protected, and without clean drinking water. Those same soldiers, when shipped home broken, have been hastily pushed out of the military, to keep from paying their medical bills (and often disability). I am equally disappointed in the Democrats, who stood by and allowed it to happen. Who have not upheld their duty to defend the Constitution. Impeachment proceedings should have occurred long ago. I am disappointed in our citizenry, who have not become outraged and demanded things to stop. Who don't care if our personal freedoms are lost, because so far it is only happening to someone who's name they cannot pronounce. I am disappointed that more people are motivated to vote for American Idol, than for our elected officials. That, dear readers, is the greatest disappointment in my life.

You have the power to change things - VOTE.

~Does your owner require you to be mindful or focused in your service? How do you focus yourself?

He appreciates me being focused. It is not required per se, but He just has to tell me and I will focus on the task at hand. We are not 24/7, I am sure that makes things very different and easier to be focused. Though, I wish I had more opportunity to serve and please Him. I do feel His is the focus of my thoughts, most of the time, and my total focus when I am with Him.

*Questions are from Submissive Journal Prompts

Monday, June 23, 2008

Just mutterings

WTF! I have no idea why the comment option was missing on my last post. I cannot figure out how to change it. Hopefully this one will be back to normal. I am still a little fuzzy-headed. I am way to old to stay up all night. I should be recovered by the weekend. I am aiming for a more substantial post then. And considering that my lack of sleep did not seem to effect my current state of neediness and arousal, it will probably be about sex.

I have joined FetLife and have been pleasantly surprised to find many of my favorite bloggers already there. I am pretty impressed with the site and the general mood there. Members, so far, have been open and respectful. Check it out. It's free and is set up similar to Myspace or Facebook. My profile name there is alreadyhispet. I have just started looking around and interacting there in the last few days.

Sorry, this too is short and sweet.

But I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep.
~Robert Frost

My latest listening pleasure:

and since a little Norah is never enough:

okay, just one more...

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Unconscious mutterings

The quarter is over at school, I have a few weeks off. My brain is tired and numb. So, I thought an easy post would be to do the free association from LunaNina.

I say....and you think....

  1. Goodbye :: farewell

  2. Cage :: slave

  3. Buddy :: pal

  4. Magic words :: please and thank you
  5. Library :: knowledge

  6. Fall in love :: vulnerable

  7. Tense :: headache

  8. Work! :: paycheck

  9. Empty :: sad

  10. Heat wave :: parched earth

Here's a little music to relax to

Death Cab for Cutie - I'll Follow You Into the Dark

That's it, going to go veg now.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Each time a new fantasy comes into my mind, or I consider a fantasy that He has shared, I wonder if it will truly become a desire. Each time, after due consideration and several replays, it does. He has always encouraged me to open my mind to Him. He wants to know my desires and fantasies. Even those of the darkest nature, that I may never want to actually realize. Though most of the time, my own fantasies tend to focus on what we have already engaged in and those things we have talked about. My mind tends to only operate a few steps ahead of where we are. I believe that this is my own method of preparation for what will come next. When I reach a certain level of acceptance and comfort in my mind, I know I will be able to fully participate.

He does, at times, push me to do things that are outside my comfort zone. Those things usually involve a risk of public discovery/exposure or uncomfortable things that may tie into my past. I am able to meet His demands, because I trust Him to always keep me safe and watch over me in those situations. I know that He will never do anything to harm or damage me. I have always been sure that He values me. His care and concern is always apparent. Despite my rather enlightened approach toward social correctness, and His reassuring actions and attitude, I am a bit surprised to find that I am not immune to the religious and cultural dogma of my upbringing.

I am always amazed and somewhat validated, that as I start to deeply ponder our journey, I find my thoughts reflected in other posts that I read. Swan wrote a post on guilt related to BDSM which resonated with my thoughts. Though, I don't encounter guilt per se regarding what we do, I have enough remnants of my past and effects of the social stigma she refers to, that I sometimes have some qualms about what my reactions (and His) will be. My recent anxieties and concerns have surprised me, I thought I had silenced that voice of propriety in my head.

I have never held tightly to social conventions. I see societal constructs as the sham that they are. Even as a teenager, I conformed where it was necessary and deviated from the rest. At age 16, I made a conscience decision to relinquish my virginity. I did not believe it was some holy chalice which held my worth and virtue. I had enough sense to know that who I was, and my value as that person, was not defined by an intact hymen. With that knowledge in hand, I purposely shed my virginity to free myself from that societal myth. By doing so, I freed myself to explore my sexuality. I awakened a desire to please myself and my partners. I set to the task of discovery and learning. I experimented with all kinds of sex, but BDSM was off of my radar, I was unaware of its existence. What I did desire was a power exchange, however, I did not know how to achieve that dynamic. I think this is true for many young women, good girls seem to be drawn to bad boys. While it may seem that the element of danger is the appeal, I think it is more about the power. Swan eloquently expressed this when she said; Power is sexy. Power is erotic. Power is hot. If I give my power, if it is taken and used to move me in ways I cannot control or direct, that can give my partner and I, both, a huge arena in which to explore our sexual natures.

My initial desire and foray into BDSM was strictly D/s. Activities of a more severe and intense nature were placed on my list of limitations. I did not feel they were wrong, they were just not for me. As our relationship has evolved and my experiences have broadened my horizons, I have come to crave and need more pain and more intensity. This is more than a physical evolution, our explorations have prompted a spiritual awakening and awareness in me, which has been both freeing and healing. I desire to engage in anything He asks of me, I have been wanting to experience more and more. I crave His use of me, I need to totally succumb to His control.

Yet, there are things that He "puts out there" (not demands, merely ideas), that result in an "Oh shit!" reaction in my mind. I know, not a very submissive response. Though, at the same time my mind is rebelling, my cunt is dripping. After some time has passed, my mind adjusts and His ideas become my fantasies, just waiting to be acted on. Recently however, I was faced with the thought that I may have found a true limit. He shared a fantasy: I've had a fantasy of finding a group of men to fuck you in every hole... To tease you and play with you and overwhelm you with sensation... To serve you as living sex toys. More than any one man can. My "Oh shit" reaction was not there, instead, my mind screamed "NO!" My reply was short: I don't know if I could do that yet. I have found this same scenario rather hot and sexy, when it happened to someone else. Considering it, with me being the main character, caused huge concerns and fears. I knew that He would never require that of me without much prior discussion. I knew that He was simply planting another seed of fantasy in my mind. I was not sure that this was a seed that could ever take root. I could not express that to Him at the time. I was not even sure what my biggest fear or objection was. What I wanted to say was, I don't need other men, I don't want other men. That was the truth, but I don't need another woman either, yet I am looking forward to that eventually happening.

What I did know was that small inner voices started telling me things. Voicing objections that I knew were untrue. Telling me things like; if you would do that, He would not want you anymore and you are too needy, He is giving you away to other men. I knew these were lies, I knew this was a case of trusting Him to know and care for me, more than I know and care for myself. I understand that He would never request anything from me that would diminish my worth in His eyes. Yet, in all of this knowledge and trust and caring, the voices persisted. Then I read Swan's post, and I realized that I wasn't as exempt from the social stigma as I thought. My sexual coming of age occurred at the same time as hers. I breathed that same air, that air filled with judgement and pseudo-religious doctrine. And though I had rejected it and pursued my own path and beliefs, that dogma haunted me with the voices in my head.

Armed with the new outlook that I obtained from her post, I dissected the lies that were whispering inside my mind. My biggest fear was that our relationship would be damaged. I acknowledge that I am His slut and whore, but playing with other men would make me a slut and whore. Those utterances from my youth testified that men discard whores. I do not really believe that, but that was the faulty logic that the voices from my past were preaching. My fears are not gone, but I have gotten to their root. I still view this fantasy with some consternation. I do know if this is a fantasy He chooses to pursue, it will become my fantasy too. If He desires it, I will submit to it, willingly, without fear of damage. My desire is to completely surrender to Him. My fantasy is His complete possession of me. I believe that is His desire as well. We will attain that, in whatever manner He decides it is best achieved.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


I am tired and restless, so exhausted I cannot sleep. I need Him, I need the comfort of His cock in my mouth. I need to feel Him close, my arms around Him, sucking hard at His cock. His hands stroking my hair, holding me close. Sucking hard, I draw comfort and solace from it. My mouth pulling at His cock, taking in sustenance from Him, nourishing my soul. Licking and lapping to quench my need for Him, pacifying my hunger for Him. Satisfying my compulsion, my addiction. Sating my hunger, consoling myself. Needing Him to take me, to fill me, to use me. Yearning to drink from His shaft, to accept all that He bestows on me. Greedily imbibing His nectar, feeding my surrender. I am His, His possession, His fucktoy, His pet.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

His pet

Loyal, yet independent. Yep-sounds like me. I do have a mind of my own, but I listen and respond to His voice. I am the Alpha-dog in my pack, but I submit to Him (and only Him). He knows the commands and the rewards that I respond to. He also enjoys and encourages my independence. I love being His pet.

Your Score: Border Collie

You scored 78% Loyal and 64% Independant!

You are most like these breeds:

Border Collie:

Originated in Scotland/England border areas, this breed is intelligent, determined and brave, this dog forms a close bond with its family and is also eager to work. If not given work to do, the Border Collie will become badly behaved. It needs ample exercise, and its origin as a sheepdog and cattle-herder means that it is only happy when given specific tasks on a regular basis. They can't sit still and they want you to be right out there doing their task with them. They are the leaders and motivators of the dog world.

Alaskan Malamute:

Originated in Alaska, USA, this breed is friendly, affectionate, and loyal, but can have a mind of its own. The malamute is built to work well within a team, and its friendliness makes it unsuitable for a watchdog, but brave enough to pull 110% of the load. Once set in a direction these dogs will continue in that track until someone with a firm hand and kind heart sets them onto a new destination. They are loving, but a workhorse that grows restless with too little to do.

Link: The What Breed Of Dog Are You Test written by JubileeHannah on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(JubileeHannah)

Friday, June 6, 2008

More than 2000!

Today my counter registered over 2000 views since I first started writing here in March. My thanks to all of you who come here to read. And to those of you who have linked to me and quoted me, helping others find me as well.

Writing is a wonderful outlet for me. It helps me think through things and it helps me grow. This blog has been a source of growth and affirmation for me. Both in writing about our experiences and my feelings and also through the comments and advice others offer to me. I feel I have gained many friends and mentors here.

I read many blogs too. Sometimes I leave comments and sometimes I just lurk around. So as Bonnie would say, I love my lurkers too. I do want to extend an invitation to my readers to leave me a comment. Even if it just to identify yourself or tell me where you are from. My stats show that I have readers all over the world, the internet makes us a global community. I also invite any of you to ask me any questions that you might have about me. I cannot promise that I will answer everything, I do want to maintain a certain air of mystery and anonymity, but I will share what I can.

Thanks again and happy reading!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Submissive Journal Prompts - Week of June 2

~Do you feel there is a learning curve in slavery? Do you feel you have to unlearn certain things that society has taught you?

As I am not a slave, I will answer this from a submissive stand point, though there may not be much of a difference. I do not view this as much as a learning curve as I do a re-education. As much as I try to resist succumbing to societal norms and pressures, I find that it is impossible to be totally immuned. As my submission deepens and He leads me farther into it, I am better able to eschew the limitations and mores that society embraces. The greater the gratification and the wholeness that I can achieve by submitting, the less reservations and hesitations seem to effect my reactions and behavior. While this seems to be a selfish way of dealing with it, I find that as my own needs are met through submission and surrender, the better integrated the different facets of my life become. This thread takes me back to my previous post, regarding how this whole process is reciprocative and interdependent on the give and take of both parties involved. Even as a slave or submissive, we really wouldn't do this if it did not meet any of our needs or desires.

While mainstream society does not understand or approve of BDSM relationships, all relationships involve some sort of power exchange. In order to function in society, we give up some of our rights and wants. We submit to the laws and policies of government, we submit to the authority of our boss, teacher, or parent, in order to maintain a semblance of harmony and public order, or at least the illusion of it. What we gain from our submission and surrender in a D/s or M/s relationship, is much more real and satisfying than what we gain by being obedient citizens. In a way, society trains us to submit, but only in a broader, more acceptable context. At the same time, society condemns our submission to another, though it is much more consensual and satisfying.

~“There’s only one thing greater than my fear- that is my love. My love will always conquer my fear- but it can’t do it immediately. It needs the full force of my love to do it and it takes days for that to emerge out of its dark hiding places.” -John Middleton Murry

This relates to another thread of discussion that I have been seeing on many blogs and sites. The question of "do you need to love someone in order to submit?" Let me replace the word love with trust. While in non-consensual situations, people submit from fear and not trust, in consensual D/s and M/s relationships, trust is necessary for submission to be complete. That trust, and the emotional connection that comes of it, can certainly develop into love, but the trust must be established. Conversely, it is possible to love someone without the trust that is necessary to submit. It is trust that will overcome and banish any fears or doubts that impede submission.

~What do you consider ’slutty’ behavior? Are you encouraged to act slutty? How does slutty behavior (either by yourself or others) make you feel?

Slutty behavior is a bit of a double edged sword. On one hand, it implies the word slut, which by definition is:
1402, "a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman," probably cognate with dialectal Ger. Schlutt "slovenly woman," dialectal Swed. slata "idle woman, slut," and Du. slodder "slut," but the ultimate origin is doubtful. Chaucer uses sluttish (c.1386) in ref. to the appearance of an untidy man. Also "a kitchen maid, a drudge." Meaning "woman of loose character, bold hussy" is attested from c.1450; playful use of the word, without implication of loose morals, is attested from 1664. ("Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily." [Pepys, diary, Feb. 21, 1664])

Sometimes used 19c. as a euphemism for bitch to describe a female dog. There is a group of North Sea Gmc. words in sl- that mean "sloppy," and also "slovenly woman," and that tend to evolve toward "woman of loose morals."
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper

While this definition acknowledges a playful sense of the word, it is overall, quite derogatory. I am His slut, but I am not anyone's slut. I do not consider myself to be promiscuous, I engage in many types of sexual behavior with Him, that I would never consent to with anyone else. I am normally quite conservative in my manner and my dress. For Him though, I want to be willing to demonstrate my submissiveness, even if that extends to acting or dressing provocatively. In that context, I define 'slutty' behavior as being openly sexual and willingly obedient.

He does encourage this type of slutty behavior, He enjoys His control, especially when pushing my 'comfort zone.' He also likes to demonstrate and show off His possession of me. This encouragement is contingent on the situation and setting we are in. He would not encourage it in a situation where it was completely inappropriate or offensive, nor is it brazenly encouraged, as in complete exposure in a crowded bar. What He does encourage is my blatant sensuality, including discreet sexual acts (including climaxes) in public, adult settings.

My reactions and feelings from this vary. It challenges my modesty and the risk of exposure and discovery can and do result in embarrassment. It also results in an extreme feeling of submissiveness and being controlled. Despite the embarrassment and reluctance that I may experience, it also leaves me incredibly turned on and horny. When He tests my limits in this way, I am left with a deeper desire to surrender to Him and a sharpened focus on Him and His desires.

~How does your body image impact your sexual identity?

I believe that our body images have very little to do with our actual appearances. Anorexic women believe they are fat, regardless of how emaciated they become. Our body image is shaped by our own comfort level with ourselves. Many beautiful and perfectly proportioned women do not feel comfortable or confident in their own skin. This is reflected in society's obsession with achieving perfection through beauty treatments and plastic surgery.

My own appearance is far from perfect. Yet, I am comfortable with the way I look and am comfortable in my own sexuality. As much as I would like to say that looks do not matter, they do. There are certainly things I would like to improve on myself, and those things probably impact my confidence as well. Though, I honestly find the sexiest people to be those that are confident and sensual, regardless of their body type. It is more of an attitude that they embrace. Of course, intelligence and humor are absolutely required for me to be attracted to someone. My own attitude is that I feel attractive and sensual, my appearance does not hinder my sexual enjoyment or my sexual identity. I think that my sexuality has been enhanced and shaped more by my submissiveness than by my body image. It is a mindset and a willingness that allows me to project confidence and self-assurance.

Link back to Journal Prompts.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

One year older

Chronologically, I am one year older. This birthday is the half a century mark. I love being this age. The older I get, the more comfortable I feel in my own skin. Of course, 20 seems only like it was a few years ago. I have always liked what Benjamin Franklin said about taking an older woman as a mistress:
I repeat my former Advice that in your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. This you call a Paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:
1. Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience.
4. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement.
6. Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.
8. 8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!

Though I don't agree with all of his observations, I do agree with the general idea of older women being more knowledgable and wanting different things from a relationship. I however, feel that I have improved and become more handsome with age. I know I am capable of still turning some heads. I do love the line; in the dark all cats are grey. Despite all of that, I do not consider myself old. Most people do not guess my age at 50 and I certainly have not slowed down in my life. I do think that I have gained some wisdom over the years and I continue to seek to learn more everyday. I am quite content with my life at this point.

I did have a wonderful birthday. My youngest son prepared a feast for us last night. No cake, but he did pick up some decadent desserts from the bakery. I have never made a big deal over my birthday celebrations. I am happy to pass the day with whatever recognition that may occur. So having a special birthday meal was a nice surprise.

J. was out of town, so no birthday spanking yet, but that should happen in the next couple of weeks. Though, each day I get to spend with Him is a celebration for me. This week my sister is flying in to celebrate a belated birthday with me. I am anticipating a wonderful visit. How nice to be sure of the love of family and friends, at any age.