I am desiring it. I have been thinking about it quite a bit. I actually have been thinking about Him. I stated in my last post, that I was celibate for a long time. That is true. Last year, when I met J, He was the first man I had engaged in any type of sex act with in many years (around thirteen, maybe more). Now, I cannot get enough of Him. He is very skillful at giving me pleasure. He can bring me to a climax quickly and expertly. He is the sexiest man I have ever met.
I lust for Him, all the time. Perhaps, that is not very submissive of me, I don't really know. I do know that I love to serve Him. I love to give Him pleasure. I love sucking His cock, giving Him a massage, licking Him all over. I love receiving spankings from Him, or canings, or floggings. All of that turns me on and makes me want Him more. I also love His hands exploring me, I love His mouth on me, and I love His cock. Seeing Him, talking to Him, just thinking about Him makes my cunt drip with desire.
He called me today and directed me to an orgasm over the phone. He told me what He would do to me and what I should do to myself. Prior to my relationship with J, I could bring myself to a climax better than anyone else. I have had some wonderful lovers, but I knew exactly where to touch myself, I knew how hard and how long. I enjoyed sex, whether it was making love or fucking, but for a pure, hard, mindblowing climax, I could do it better myself. That is no longer true. He knows my body, He knows what I need, He makes me cum better than anyone ever has (including myself). He is in control of me, I need His control. It is as much psychological as physical, I need Him in order to cum. Not necessarily His physical presence, but His presence inside of me. When He is physically with me, it is the best. I long for Him, I am electrified, I am His whore. He fills my fantasies, I only want Him. I crave His touch, His mouth, His cock, His seed. I crave serving Him. I need to submit, to surrender, to give myself to Him completely. He gives me everything that I need.
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4 comments:
Alice, don't worry that is the perfect submissive attitude.
I'll bet He is pleased with you,
I know that I would be.
Love the song.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
I forgot about that song. Its fun. *grins*
I'm in agreement with Paul. I think a man loves it when a woman wants him madly. It feels good in every way. ((Hugs))
I once was celibate for almost 10 years at the end of my first "marriage." Isn't it amazing when you reawaken how gloriously sexual you become. For me that reawakening was coupled with my getting to base my sensual erotic orientatin on spanking as well, which hieghtened my new found excitment to an even greater extent.
Congratulations, on your return to life. As for your submissiveness, if you are pleasing your Dominant how can you be anything but being submissive to Him. Now for the negative self-talk it appears you may be doing in questioning your "submissiveness," I would suspect several disciplinary style blisterings might realign your phenomenological frame so that you come to accept his pleasure as your criteria for success as a submissive, as opposed to misgivings about your lustful feelings which may actually good old fashioned sexual guilt in disguise:)
All the best,
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Paul,
You are very sweet. I always look forward to your input and opinion. He does tell me he is pleased with me. He makes me very happy and fulfilled as well. We do seem to have a perfect synergy.
*smiles*
Shannee,
I know that it certainly feels good to me to want him in that way!
Tom,
It is good to see you here. Best regards to your clan. He has certainly "awakened" me, sexually and submissively. I desire him more each day. I do always try to put his pleasure before all else. I am not concerned with my appearence of submissiveness, as I know I am surrendered to him. Just a bit of wondering aloud.
As for the "blisterings" I will leave that up to him. I have been craving to be over his knees. *grins*
All my love to all of you.
Alice
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