Submissive Journal Prompts - Week of December 1

Prompts are from Submissive Journal Prompts.

~Service submissive vs. Housekeeper. What’s the difference between drudgery and service? What makes your service different than what you can pay for?

We are not 24/7, so this does not really pertain to us, though I do like to offer Him service (both sexual and otherwise) when we are together. I will answer this from that perspective. The service that I offer Him (and would love to offer Him) comes from my love for Him and my desire to please Him, not out of duty or obligation.

I do know that in a 24/7 relationship, service can possibly become wearing or mundane. I think that the answer would still be the same, the key would be my attitude. Especially understanding, as I do, how stressful and busy His life can be, I feel it would be even more important to provide Him with a refuge from His demands. To make sure that my submission and service were not another demand, but were available for His comfort and a respite from the stresses He faces on a daily basis. When it comes to domestic service, I like to challenge myself to pay attention to details that I know will be pleasing to the other person. Including everything from meal preparation to having their clothes pressed a certain way or even how the bed is made. Keeping the other person's preferences in mind while completing those tasks.

~How do you view ‘fear’?

This has changed for me over my lifetime. There was a time in my life when I feared actual physical harm. I once feared not being there for my children when they needed me. The boys are adults now, and though they still might need me at times, they can take care of themselves.

J has helped me overcome much of my fear. Though, there are still times I may feel it, due to remembering bad situations, I know that I am now safe and cared for. I may worry, at times, about people I care for, that is different from fear. I do have a fear of heights and a fear of needles, but I do not let them become irrational, I can control those fears.

~What is the one thing you never thought you would do, and how did you feel when you accomplished it? Was it something you did for yourself, or for someone else?

I am not sure of my answer to this. Perhaps it is being able to heal from and overcome the abuse of my past. For that matter, I never envisioned myself in a loving relationship again. I had been very careful to keep people at arm's length and to keep my feelings to myself. When I met J, things were very different. He was very different from other men I had known. He seemed to know me so well, I just knew that I could trust Him. I still never planned on loving Him, but I couldn't help it.

I don't know if I view this as an accomplishment or just healing. I have been surprised by the progression of things and very happy. I do honestly feel that I was fated to be in this relationship with J. I am very content with things. I don't know that I did this for anyone. I feel it was more something J did for me, encouraging me to be open and allowing me to trust again. Being the man that He is, He made things safe for me again.