Vacation

Tomorrow I leave on vacation. I am going to visit my sister and mother. I am excited about going, but not like I should be. The trip means I will be farther from J. I would not see Him this next week anyway, but I also will not be able to talk with Him as much.

I know that distance is relative. When we are already apart, does it matter whether that distance is 100 miles or 1000 miles? To me it does. What matters is availability. I try to be available to Him all of the time. I am available to Him everyday, whether by phone or online. I am also available should He decide to come visit. This next week, I will not be as available. That bothers me (not enough to stay home, but He would not want that anyway).

The last time I made this trip was almost two years ago. J and I had not yet met in person, though we were talking quite a bit. I cannot believe the progression of our relationship over the past two years. I originally thought it would be a casual, play only, probably short term D/s relationship. It is now anything but casual, wholly committed, all encompassing, long term (for as long as He wants me) relationship. We do have a D/s relationship, but we have more than that. It seems that each day our feelings and commitment deepen. I love Him, I am devoted to Him, I belong to Him. He has dominated me, healed me, loved me and accepted me. He honors me. Thank you J for everything you have given to me.

Oh, BTW...this also means I will not be posting over the next week or so. Think of me, as I will be wet, tan and warm (not THAT kind of wet, you all have dirty minds!).