Last week was Love Our Lurkers day. I was out of town on that particular day, but I scheduled a post to publish. I had every intention of responding to comments and making the rounds to other blogs when I got back, but I didn't. I am a bad blogger. I appreciate the readers that come here, I love reading the comments that I receive. I try and get around to reading other blogs, but I am a lurker too. I just don't seem to have the time or energy to leave many comments anymore. I also find myself struggling to post here very much. I begin posts often and then usually end up deleting the banality I have written. Most days, by the time I make it home from work, I am feeling rather used up and dimwitted. Certainly, by the time dinner is done, accompanied by clean-up and additional housework, I am left operating on one or two brain cells that are still firing. I am not sure if that makes me very tired or stupid, but neither is conducive to blogging. On the other hand, I am a very good pet (at least I try to be). That is a much higher priority for me than being a good blogger. Though, the two are tied in together, because J enjoys reading here and often what I write is for Him.
I was with J last week, our time together was brief, but wonderful. I am always surprised by my reaction to seeing Him. I know I miss Him and desire Him madly, but I still get butterflies with my anticipation. Each time I see Him again (when I actually lay eyes on Him), I catch my breath and my heart leaps. Being with Him, even talking to Him, makes me giddy. I love His eyes. The way He looks at me is deep and piercing, it makes me melt into a puddle. I know, because the puddle always ends up in my panties after He looks at me that way. I feel like His gaze bores through me and looks into my soul. Every time our eyes meet, it is as if the rest of the world disappears. He owns me with His eyes, they draw my entire focus onto Him. It's like the scene in For the Love of the Game where Kevin Costner 'clears the mechanism'.
Okay, maybe a baseball movie is not the most romantic analogy, but it probably is my favorite movie, so that's what comes to mind.
We can be laughing, joking, talking about work or politics, and then He shoots me that look and the world stands still. He can control me and possess me with just a look. Of course there is much more to it than that. His hands are incredible, they are magic. When His hands are on me, I feel as if I am a lump of clay and He is a sculptor, shaping me, forming me into something beautiful and better. I would be amiss if I did not mention His mouth. He kisses me as I have never been kissed before. His kisses overwhelm me, they are intimate, controlling, probing, sensuous, they make me weak in the knees. J is, hands down, the sexiest man I have ever met. Everything about Him makes me want Him. I want to serve Him, surrender to Him, give myself to Him completely. When I think of Him, my cunt moistens and my mouth waters. I am His, in all ways. It really is quite selfish of me, my desire to belong to Him, He completes me, He affirms me, He provides me with great pleasure. When I think I could not desire Him more than I do, when I know it is impossible to give Him more, surrender more, I see Him again and more is not even enough.