I have been thinking a lot lately. Pondering this thing that we do and why we do it. Although I dabbled in some kinky sex in the past, that bordered on submission, I never truly engaged in D/s until this past year. Now I do not think I could go without it. How is it, that I could live my entire adult life, until age 49, without something, only to have it end up being such an integral part of my being?
He is the only man who has ever truly dominated me. His domination extends beyond the kink and the sex, He dominates my entire being. I feel His essence deep within me. It has effected every aspect of my life. My outlook and my view of life has changed. He has expanded my world, my walls have come down and He has allowed me to take my place in the universe again. Rather than keeping little bits of myself, each in their own small compartment, I have become integrated into a whole being. I have connected with myself and with what is outside of myself. Our relationship drives me, to want more, explore more, accept more. Not just more kink, pain and sex, but more life, more wholeness, more oneness with the universe.
Within the confines of our relationship, He has control. He leads and I follow. He is careful to always lead a few steps in front of where I am, pulling me forward into where He is sure I already want to be. Planting seeds of suggestions and desires in my mind, allowing them to take root and grow. It is a give and take, the further I go the further He takes me. The further He takes me the further I go. Our desires are ever expanding, as our devotion and our experiences grow, the effects extend beyond us. His influence ripples out from me in ever widening circles, creating a force that has repercussions far beyond the sphere of our relationship.
Recently, I feel I can see the whole picture of things. I can see our place in the universe, we are but a small speck in a huge expanse. However, I know that speck is woven into a larger thread, if it would cease to exist, the entire fabric would be changed by the void. I sense my insignificance, as well as my importance, both in our relationship and in the cosmos. These contradictory sides of my existence are juxtaposed in my mind, making me think and seek my place and my role. I am beginning to see all the possibilities, my limits are removed, anything is possible.
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world.
Our work for peace must begin within the private world of each one of us. To build for man a world without fear, we must be without fear. To build a world of justice, we must be just.
Chase after the truth like hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails.
Every little event is like a pebble in the water that ripples outward and touches places the pebble never could.