Sunday, April 20, 2008

How can I possibly resist?

I received the following message on a well known BDSM personals site. My profile on that site states that I am already in a relationship and am just there for friends and networking. It also states that I value intelligent discourse. Though, after reading his message, that last phrase might have been a bit too difficult for him to understand. Do people even read the profiles before firing an e-mail off? The best part of his e-mail is that he managed to include the entire thing in just one sentence. After all of his assurances, I am sure I now trust him completely. I cannot wait for him to tie me down, have his way with me and teach me how to please a man.

I'm looking for a sweet girl to meet with from time to time and role play into a very deep and fulfilling time for both of us,have the girl in a short dress and bending her over to warm her sweet bottom then just loose all contrl and just strip her and use all of her teaching her about how to please a man, I do hope to hear from you and would come to you you I can get a nice room for play when I got there I do hope to hear from you so very soon , I don't know how to assure you that that I love the female body everything about the female I just love all it can bring to a man. I guess it's somethin I always enjoyed seeing and hearing a lady moaning in yes some lite pain but also very deep pleasure, I enjoy giving all she enjoys, and when I say I'm oral thats what I am, after a warm spanking or paddling and I know the lady is very turned on nothing gives me more pleasure than to become oral while they are still restrained enjoy the sweet jucies a woman can produce,not to forget having her face down and spreading her bottom open and enjoy the musky taste of all of her, feeling the heat from her bottom and hearing her cry out in pleasure.Well, I'm very glad I can assure you that I'm very safe and sane, I want your trust in me that you have no fears of me, I totally understandyou will be very nervous, please don't be afraid, yes you will be restrained and of course you will be spanked,,but very eroticly and sensually, I will show you all I bring and I willalways respect you and your wishes, spanking you while panties on is a something I will always begin with and begin softly giving you time to adjust your feelings but you know that they soon will be removed, I I hope you know that by now that I'm very trusting and will never violate that trust you place in me, it means so much to have trust and makes it so much more enjoyable for both of us.I will also be bringing legspreaders, cuffs plugs (both anal and vaginal), clamps leather paddles , vibartors, (several types), restraints,blindfolds, just so much and I will explain all if you are not comfortable it will not be used, after all I want you to totally trust me, I can always meet you where you feel comfortable, and we can get a room should you wish to go forward please remember I'm very safe, sane and understanding, , to lick and suck your nipples,until they are so very hard that you burst into orgasms, of course at that point I want to taste your warm jucies sucking your sweetness from your body, but please remember I will be so very discreet for you,I have been a Master now for over 25 years, I do hope to hear form you very soon , Always, _____

I am assuming that he has been a Master in BDSM for 25 years, because he certainly hasn't mastered the English language.


Anonymous said...

Well, certainly your search is over. Sometimes you just hit it right.
Though seriously, this one could rival the most awful Friday postings in a similar vein by the delightful Erica Scott, who showcases the worst e-mail she receives weekly, assuming she has a worthy entry. She's a very capable professional editor and also marvels at how there's no shortage of grammatical, syntactical, and spelling errors in much of her inbound correspondence. Please share this with her--it'll make her day. :-)

Vestri said...

LOL, Alice

I get a lot of those, but unfortunately they're in Hebrew, so I can't share.

I also love those guys who forget they wrote to you last week/month or even yesterday, and send you the EXACT same message, which they just copy paste and send to every possible sub on the site, and which is meant to sound oh-so-heartfelt and personal...

Alice said...

Yes, I am so glad I found 'the one', I am not familiar with Erica Scott though, if you send me a link, I will forward it to her.

I have also gotten duplicate messages from wannabe Doms, but this was definitely the best of the worse.

David said...

Please tell me how I can get in touch with the Grand Master. Clearly there is much I can learn about handling submissivenesses from him, as well as grammars and sentence structureness.


Alice said...


Welcome. Yes, he certainly has a way with words, I am sure he is equally skilled with women.