Monday, April 21, 2008


One week from tonight, I will be with Him. To say I am anxious for this to occur is grossly understated. I am obsessed with thoughts of being with Him, of the marks I will receive, of ways I hope to please Him. I am in a constant state of arousal, needy and horny all at the same time. Last night, He directed me not to climax again, until I was with Him. The thought was intimidating, especially since I had not masturbated the night before. Feeling very horny, I asked Him for the restriction to start the following day (today), after some discussion, He agreed.

When I went to bed last night, I could only think of Him. I thought about Him being next to me. I imagined myself positioned over His lap being spanked, I thought about the belt and the cane. I remembered the pinch of the nipple clamps and the burn when they came off. I wanted to feel the thuddy sting of the flogger, to feel His hand closed around my throat. I thought about the look in His eyes that assures me that I safely belong to Him. I needed to slide my mouth down the length of His cock. Drowning in thoughts and remembrances of Him, I slid my hand between my legs, I felt the heat, the slick wetness that was there. I rubbed my clit and up and down the lips of my cunt. My other hand reached for the vibrator and pushed it inside of me. I could feel the need, the tension, the desire building, expanding from my core. I wanted to cum hard, to cum enough to last me the week. I rubbed harder, more persistantly. I pushed the vibrator against my G-spot, my orgasm welled up and spread through my whole body. I didn't stop, I wanted it to last, to satisfy my need. My stomach and thighs tensed, I felt my cunt clench on the vibrator, my back arched and I rocked against my hand. Physically, I could feel the waves wash over me, I came hard. Mentally, I felt unfulfilled, empty, I was not satisfied. I needed Him. I needed to feel His strokes on me, His bonds on me, His mouth on me, His hands on me. I wanted to feel Him on top of me, inside me, surrounding me with His presence.

I am no longer able to satisfy my own needs. I need Him. I need Him to control me, my body, my reactions, my orgasms. He is inside my mind. He can give me a climax with words, that is more satisfying than what I can give to myself. I am internally bound. Mental bondage that pulls me towards Him, connects me to Him. This rope, weaved from my thoughts, is pulling me closer to Him this week. Each hour, I am pulled closer to Him. I wish I could push the clock ahead. I am focused on the future, I am travelling through time, to be engulfed by Him.

No comments: