Saturday, August 23, 2008

cock worship


I was 16 years old when I lost my virginity. I was in a relation-ship, but it was not out of love or lust. I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be a virgin. I am not sure why, other than I no longer wanted to be bothered by the burden of "should I or shouldn't I." It was a pleasant experience, he was caring, gentle, and (though he was pretty inexperienced too) was way more knowledgeable than I was. I did not know what to expect, it hurt (briefly) but that turned me on even more. (I guess a little bit of pain is what I have always desired.) I remember it always with fondness.

I was extremely naive. I wanted to have sex, I wanted to please my partners, but I was pretty limited. I remember when the same boy mentioned oral sex to me. I do not know what I said, but something along the lines of, "people actually do that?" Needless to say, after my response, we didn't do that. I was not revolted by the idea, just totally clueless. A year later, I was seeing someone else, he was older and more experienced. We had gone to the movies (Shampoo, with Warren Beatty), and there had been a scene at a dinner party were Julie Christie sucked his cock under the table. Later, that evening, we were on the couch in my parent's living room and he referred to the scene. He asked me to do "that," I did and the rest is history. I have always enjoyed sucking cock. It makes me feel servile, sexy, and a bit of a tease.

I have never loved it as much as I do with J. With Him, it is more than a sex act, it is spiritual. It is an act of worship. I not only love it, I fantasize about it, I dream about it, I need it. I love the way His cock feels in my mouth. It is hard and smooth and the perfect size. I love how it fills my mouth, how it hits the back of my throat. I love running my tongue over it, exploring it, memorizing it. I love how it smells and how it tastes. I love sucking hard on the head and then sliding my mouth down to the base where I am nuzzled against Him. I love when He fucks my mouth, thrusting into me, into my throat, making me gag. I love when He wraps His hand in my hair, holding me while I take all of Him. I love when He cums. Feeling His balls tighten, sensing the urgency, flooding my mouth, sucking and swallowing His gift to me. Each drop is precious and valuable. It sustains me, it affirms me, I crave it from Him.

My reserved and private self, is now desiring to suck His cock, everywhere. I have already done this in the hallway of a hotel, on the deck at my house and now on this blog. I want more, I want this in elevators, in parks, in corridors, in museums and yes, under the table at a dinner party. No, I don't want to be caught, but I do want to publicly worship Him. I want to be His adoring pet, His lustful slut. I want to be His devoted disciple, His surrendered submissive. I want to be His cock whore.



2 comments:

Paul said...

Alice, if you truly love then every act is a spiritual one.
In the east they have known this for at least three thousand years.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Alice said...

Paul,
I am learning this, but bear with me. As a Yank, I have been cut off from much of that wisdom from the rest of the world, a victim of ethno-centrism. I am entering a dawn of awakening and realize that these ideas are not new at all, but just new to me. Since I have opened that door, I have been riding high on the wave of the ancient wisdom that has come flooding through.
*smiles*
Alice