It is quickly coming up on the one year anniversary of when we met online. In some ways, it seems like a lifetime ago, and in other ways, it seems like last month. Looking back, I had no inkling whatsoever that things would develop as they have. I do know that I was hooked right away. As I read His first message to me, I felt something inside, a stirring, drawing me toward Him. I did not really acknowledge it, it seemed foolish and cavalier to feel that way. I had every intention of taking things slow, but in reality, I plunged ahead quickly. Within a week, He had a hold over me. He drew out my submissiveness, He overwhelmed me. He still does.
I had intended to maintain much more control of the situation, but He controlled it from the start. He was not demanding or insistent, but He was strong and in charge. I knew that I could trust Him, He made me feel safe. It would be another two months before we actually met in person. Though, that was due to schedules and logistics, not due to willingness and desire. I had not had sex in a really long time, but I knew that I would with Him. I had never truly been dominated, but that was already happening with Him.
He has been extremely good for me. This past year with Him, has precipitated much growth and healing in me. Much of that began right away, it continues every day. Each limit I cross, each time I give Him a bit more of myself, I become stronger, more complete. In the beginning, I tried not to have any expectations. I was not sure how long this would last. I was grateful for each week that went by. Now, a year later I do expect things. I expect that I will belong to Him as long as He wants me. I expect that He will take me even farther than He already has. I expect that He has changed me forever and will always be a part of me.